I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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