sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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