Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
this will be a night to untag.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
