Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
