If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
