Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
