I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
