i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
