Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drunk is not a location!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
