Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
