so that wasnt chicken after all
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
