Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize
