We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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