So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
