i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
