i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
