a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
