Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
