I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
