everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
