Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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