Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
