You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
