Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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