apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
