her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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