AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
