I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
