idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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