Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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