The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
