i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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