Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
