she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
