Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I would ride that face into the sunset
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
