Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
A bitchslap is in order.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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