I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The air was thick with penises
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
