i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
