In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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