drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize