What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
