I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
