you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
