so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
