so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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