I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What drink are we having for lunch?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
