my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
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