He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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