my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
its not stalking. its research.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
