So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
