Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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